Monday 9 March 2009

Third time's the charm?

Today I saw some photos a friend took of me at the weekend and I just lost it. If there's a rock bottom it's where I'm at now. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. For when you hit bottom the only way to go is up.

So, more than two years have passed since I started this journey and where am I? Well, the last year has been filled with changes that have seen the scales climbing higher than they have for more than a decade. Have my weeks of dieting been in vain?


I've been doing a great deal of thinking in recent weeks about the weight issue - mainly as giving up smoking three months ago just pushed my weight up that little bit faster. Now, I've given up giving up smoking in the past due to weight gain. And you know what? It might stop you gaining more, but it certainly doesn't help you shed your added pounds.

So, I've been trying the nonchalant approach to my increased girth. It worked especially well in those pre-xmas weeks but it's wearing thin now. I think (and hope) that I am far enough along with quitting that I can now tackle the weight without undoing those painful early weeks of withdrawl.



Here's what I think about why my weight's on the up... and how I hope to sort it. To help me stick to it, I'm going to think of them as the Golden Rules.



1. If you can walk the distance, do it!

-- Since passing my driving test last April I have found myself lulled into choosing the car for all of my travel needs. Not only is it bad for my waistline, it's bad for my body generally, my son's health and the environment.

2. If you can't make the effort for yourself, don't let that ruin others' health

--My son and dog both deserve - and need - at least a 30 minute non-stop walk each day. Since starting work in June I have found myself arriving home and vegging out on the sofa each night. When the dog does get a 'walk' it tends to be a short one to the field nearby where I simply throw the ball repeatedly without working my legs at all.

3. Breathe in, breathe out and relax

--Rather than sitting at my desk at lunch time, I will endeavour to have at least a 15 minute walk each day to clear my head and destress.

4. Try something new!

-- There are more ways to exercise than aerobics. My hips and knees are particularly bad at the moment with the weight gain, so low impact alternatives will be given priority. But, each month I will attempt at least one new pursuit.

5. Go slow

--Rather than rely on the cooking delights of others who don't cook for you but for their bank balance, explore with food and enjoy the art of slow cooking. Handpicking all ingredients and growing them myself where possible adds a new dimension to the process while removing unnecessary sodium, preservatives and chemicals.

6. Spot the saboteur within

--Yes, I am my own worst enemy. Identifying the cues that lead to falling off the wagon and understanding their roots should kerb their impact on my waistline. Often my girth is directly related to how I'm feeling about my current relationship, workplace stresses or parenting abilities. The more shaky each of those areas look, the wider I grow. Perhaps I am trying to physically make myself appear stronger and sturdier when I'm feeling quite fragile... Or even trying to punish someone for not loving me in the way I need... A bowlful of food can quickly quiet any negative thoughts in the head. So, whatever those throughts, I think I need to deal with them once and for all and avoid shutting them down with a bite to eat.

7. Nourish yourself

--Choose foods that deal with specific problems within the body.

(NB: This one might require a visit to a nutritionist!)

8. Spoil yourself with kindness

--Chocolate and rich foods might make you feel temporarily good. But before indulging think of other ways to make yourself feel even better. How about a self-indulgent soak accompanied by a good back - or even a trashy magazine - in the bath?

9. Don't bottle up

--I am seen by some as a very patient person who just *doesn't* get angry. That's possibly because I shove chocolate or some other food stuff in my mouth at the first rise of the adrenalin. Rather than quash it with food, keep it in or lash out at anyone unlucky enough to be in the vicinity, I will blog. Writing is, for me, the best release as noone gets hurt and I guess I get to avoid conflicts.

10. You aren't the victim - you are the addict

--No one has forced this food into my mouth. But years of training have allowed me to develop an addictive relationship with food. After a binge I am often sat there in a dulled state - unable to function. It isn't a high - it doesn't feel good. It just doesn't let me feel anything AT ALL. Understanding this negative relationship with food and controlling its impact on your day-to-day life can only help you achieve more in life than ever before.

I used to say that the problem with my addiction was that I had to face food at every corner - whereas with cigarrettes you can give them up and avoid being around them forever. But, my problem isn't with all food... I think it's just the processed, high sugar, high fat offerings. And you know what, I CAN and WILL cut these out because it isn't anywhere as hard as I think it will be.

Other rules will, no doubt, be added in the weeks and months to come. But, there's a real pattern developing here. I think the only way to get on the wagon - and stay on - for good is increasing my activity levels and switching to a natural, homecooked diet. When it comes to food itself, I'm eating a more varied diet than before I started WW and still use low-fat substitutes where possible. I've just added things like chocs and takeaways into the mix...

So, watch this space... I believe it's the start of something fantastic!