Recipe of the Week

Like anybody food posessed, I enjoy experimenting in the kitchen. But I don't think I'll ever be completely ready to hang up my apron. Which is a good thing as it was not cooking that made me fat... It was cooking the wrong foods (and eating too much of them).

By studying the weight watchers points lists - including the all important zero point foods - I hope to put together some great breakfasts, lunches and dinners which won't break even the tightest points balance.

From time to time I hope to post my successful recipes on here. They might not fall into haute cuisine but they will be low fat, low calorie and low point foods.

Today's recipe, Butternut Squash and Carrot soup is a true winter warmer. What's more, it creates an inexpensive but incredibly healthy and filling lunch or dinner for just 3 points.

The lessor of two evils

Since giving up smoking last December, my weight has crept up... In the way an elephant creeps, of course. Now don't get me wrong - I was by no means a skinny minny to start with!

Yes, kids... Although smokers are - on the whole - slimmer than non-smokers, we're not all Kate Moss. For me, poor fitness combined with regular, long journeys and visits with non-smokers resulted in me going through withdrawl (and weight gain) several times a year have resulted in gains. And, to be honest, this was what sent me trading in the cigs for lollipops once and for all. What's the point in gaining 15lbs two or three times a year just because I can't smoke for a week or two. Worse still I could barely address it through physical exercise.

So, where am I now? Well, thanks to discovering a crib sheet from my previous weight-related battles, I can answer that quite confidently. And it certainly makes for interesting reading.

Forgetting the records in between (a diet which succeeded and failed thanks to non-smoking episodes), this chart shows just how many inches have been added through gaining 27lbs over the last 22 months. And, it isn't too bad all things considered.

But what the numbers don't show is the true impact all of this weight. At my age, 37, the ups and downs accompanying this yo-yo dieting has had a terrible impact on my state of health:

• High blood pressure
• Oedema
• Lack of energy
• Difficulty breathing
• Poor mood
• Increased anxiety
• Depression

And it all goes hand-in-hand. High blood pressure, caused by carrying too much weight and eating an unhealthy diet is leaving me with puffy, swollen ankles and fingers. The strain this is causing on my respiratory system is leaving me breathless and in a poor mood. After all, wouldn't you be anxious and depressed if your body felt tight and your joints felt painful all of the time?

Yeah, you best quickly put aside any notions of those of us carrying extra poundage as 'bubbly' and 'vivacious' (surely they mean voracious)... Being fat doesn't exactly make me jolly!

But I made a promise to myself that when I gave up smoking I wouldn't beat myself up about gaining a pound here or there for the first 6 months. And I haven't...until now. These last ten months have offered the ideal opportunity to understand myself, my cues and the role that my weight has played in my life.

So, what am I going to do about it? As much as I want to adopt diet crazes, fads and pills with religious zeal, I've been around that block a few too many times. And it's taught me that - boring as it sounds - keeping it off for good boils down to two things: healthy eating and regular exercise.

And it needs a lifelong commitment. Despite this, I know I'm goal oriented. I need a goal to strive for... I normally don't do things by half, but I reckon that I need to in this instance. I have set a goal weight of 135lbs or half my current weight.

Along the way I'm hoping to learn and share a trick or two about gaining health - not pounds, so hop on for the ride.

Third time's the charm?

Today I saw some photos a friend took of me at the weekend and I just lost it. If there's a rock bottom it's where I'm at now. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. For when you hit bottom the only way to go is up.

So, more than two years have passed since I started this journey and where am I? Well, the last year has been filled with changes that have seen the scales climbing higher than they have for more than a decade. Have my weeks of dieting been in vain?


I've been doing a great deal of thinking in recent weeks about the weight issue - mainly as giving up smoking three months ago just pushed my weight up that little bit faster. Now, I've given up giving up smoking in the past due to weight gain. And you know what? It might stop you gaining more, but it certainly doesn't help you shed your added pounds.

So, I've been trying the nonchalant approach to my increased girth. It worked especially well in those pre-xmas weeks but it's wearing thin now. I think (and hope) that I am far enough along with quitting that I can now tackle the weight without undoing those painful early weeks of withdrawl.



Here's what I think about why my weight's on the up... and how I hope to sort it. To help me stick to it, I'm going to think of them as the Golden Rules.



1. If you can walk the distance, do it!

-- Since passing my driving test last April I have found myself lulled into choosing the car for all of my travel needs. Not only is it bad for my waistline, it's bad for my body generally, my son's health and the environment.

2. If you can't make the effort for yourself, don't let that ruin others' health

--My son and dog both deserve - and need - at least a 30 minute non-stop walk each day. Since starting work in June I have found myself arriving home and vegging out on the sofa each night. When the dog does get a 'walk' it tends to be a short one to the field nearby where I simply throw the ball repeatedly without working my legs at all.

3. Breathe in, breathe out and relax

--Rather than sitting at my desk at lunch time, I will endeavour to have at least a 15 minute walk each day to clear my head and destress.

4. Try something new!

-- There are more ways to exercise than aerobics. My hips and knees are particularly bad at the moment with the weight gain, so low impact alternatives will be given priority. But, each month I will attempt at least one new pursuit.

5. Go slow

--Rather than rely on the cooking delights of others who don't cook for you but for their bank balance, explore with food and enjoy the art of slow cooking. Handpicking all ingredients and growing them myself where possible adds a new dimension to the process while removing unnecessary sodium, preservatives and chemicals.

6. Spot the saboteur within

--Yes, I am my own worst enemy. Identifying the cues that lead to falling off the wagon and understanding their roots should kerb their impact on my waistline. Often my girth is directly related to how I'm feeling about my current relationship, workplace stresses or parenting abilities. The more shaky each of those areas look, the wider I grow. Perhaps I am trying to physically make myself appear stronger and sturdier when I'm feeling quite fragile... Or even trying to punish someone for not loving me in the way I need... A bowlful of food can quickly quiet any negative thoughts in the head. So, whatever those throughts, I think I need to deal with them once and for all and avoid shutting them down with a bite to eat.

7. Nourish yourself

--Choose foods that deal with specific problems within the body.

(NB: This one might require a visit to a nutritionist!)

8. Spoil yourself with kindness

--Chocolate and rich foods might make you feel temporarily good. But before indulging think of other ways to make yourself feel even better. How about a self-indulgent soak accompanied by a good back - or even a trashy magazine - in the bath?

9. Don't bottle up

--I am seen by some as a very patient person who just *doesn't* get angry. That's possibly because I shove chocolate or some other food stuff in my mouth at the first rise of the adrenalin. Rather than quash it with food, keep it in or lash out at anyone unlucky enough to be in the vicinity, I will blog. Writing is, for me, the best release as noone gets hurt and I guess I get to avoid conflicts.

10. You aren't the victim - you are the addict

--No one has forced this food into my mouth. But years of training have allowed me to develop an addictive relationship with food. After a binge I am often sat there in a dulled state - unable to function. It isn't a high - it doesn't feel good. It just doesn't let me feel anything AT ALL. Understanding this negative relationship with food and controlling its impact on your day-to-day life can only help you achieve more in life than ever before.

I used to say that the problem with my addiction was that I had to face food at every corner - whereas with cigarrettes you can give them up and avoid being around them forever. But, my problem isn't with all food... I think it's just the processed, high sugar, high fat offerings. And you know what, I CAN and WILL cut these out because it isn't anywhere as hard as I think it will be.

Other rules will, no doubt, be added in the weeks and months to come. But, there's a real pattern developing here. I think the only way to get on the wagon - and stay on - for good is increasing my activity levels and switching to a natural, homecooked diet. When it comes to food itself, I'm eating a more varied diet than before I started WW and still use low-fat substitutes where possible. I've just added things like chocs and takeaways into the mix...

So, watch this space... I believe it's the start of something fantastic!

Weigh In - Week one (Mark II)

Hopped on the scales feeling slightly nervous this evening. You see, I have had a few hiccups this week...Fortunately the gods of dieting were on my side and I registered a loss of 6lbs. Of course, I am pleased with the results. However, I do know that if I managed several social situations a bit better I would have possibly seen a larger loss.

Take Saturday for example. I went to the cinema with the best of intentions. I saved a few points for a snack and a diet soft drink. Unfortunately I chose a snack that required incredibly strict willpower - of which I had none... I opted for the massive bag of Maltesers which weighed in at a whopping 16 points. I planned to simply eat the equivalent of a small bag's worth which only costs 3.5 points and pass it on to the others. Hearing the reply 'no thanks' to my offer left me perplexed...and reaching into the bag.

The funniest bit of this is that I really didn't even want a sweet snack. I longed for the ultimate movie treat - popcorn. And guess what? I found out yesterday that a small bag of salty goodness is only 3.5 points....

So, I guess this is just one of many lessons that I will learn that fall into the book of 'Point before you eat'!

Back on the wagon again...

You'll notice a massive gap between that last post and this one...yes, my good intentions fell by the wayside. The last twelve months have been a rollercoaster with studying, family, illness and well, general hedonistic eating. It seems that life got in the way...a little at first. But, I soon used it as an excuse to fall back into a more dangerous eating cycle.

Rather than get back to the point counting that served me so well, I've foolishly toyed with 'lose weight quick' schemes...and seen the weight creep back on. From taking apple cider vinegar (ghastly) to living a low carb life - it seems I have tried it all. With each venture a new half stone seems to have appeared despite losing as much as 8lbs in a week.

However, it hasn't all been bad...My attempt at giving up smoking fell astray after 3 weeks due to weight gain (2 stone!) - but I am still working on freeing myself from it for good. One thing I have rid myself of completely is caffeinated diet soft drinks. Loaded with aspartame, they left me feeling tired and anxious. It has been three weeks now and I feel a million times better for it and it has left me feeling like I can conquer anything. The weight and the cigs being the top of that list.

While I could view my rejoining Weight Watchers as a fresh start, I am opting to frame it as continuing my weight loss journey. After all, this is by no means a short-term plan...as I think I previously envisioned. So, where am I now....

A pilot scheme in Cornwall is underway which has allowed the NHS to join forces with WW. As my BMI meets the criteria, I have been given 12 weeks of free vouchers for meetings. There are several other aspects to this programme, however they have been oversubscribed :(

Last Tuesday I had my first weigh-in. My current weight is 15 stone 2 or 212lbs. Oddly enough, I can still fit into the size 16 clothes which I splashed out on last year when I was some 2 stone lighter. But, I won't lie - they are damned tight! Unfortunately, my measuring tape has gone walkies so I have no idea how many inches I have added onto my frame....and right now I'm not so sure that is a good idea.

Although this break has seen me gain some of my loss, it has helped me recognise that WW is the way forward as well as realise mistakes I have made. One of my biggest hurdles over the past 18 months has been the threat of the scales....they can become all-consuming even for the most disciplined of dieters. For the next few months my scales shall lay dormant. To ensure I don't fall back into this vicious weighing cycle I have hidden them away without the necessary batteries.

It won't be easy - but I will get there. I might have regained but at least I know that I am still 36lbs lighter than I was when this journey began in January 2007.

Wish me luck!

Bit blurry...but all I can say is - what a difference 26 weeks makes. Yes, today marks 6 months of WW. I haven't lost anything this week, but I thought I should celebrate sticking with the plan for so long.

Physically, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, although I have become more critical of my appearance. But the changes in appearance are nothing compared to how my internal workings are running and the health implications I had from carrying the excess weight. My BMI was originally in the morbidly obese category at 42. By losing a third of my 248lb frame, I have cut my risk of Type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease and all but eliminated my joint and back pains.

Shapewise, my body has transformed and I actually feel like I have a shape...oh and I can SEE my toes for the first time in years! My chest has decreased from 48" to 43". My waist has gone from 43" to 35". My hips have shrunk from 51" to 43". As for my thunderthighs, they have gone from 28" each to 24.5"....so that would be an inch loss of 28".

I know the next 26 weeks will not be anywhere near as easy as the first 26, but I can see the end in sight. My goal, I think, will be 133lbs - just 38lbs away. I am hoping to step up exercising as I'd like what remains of my frame to be toned and to look as fit as it feels. My next major goal will be my 100lb mark at 148lbs. I'm hoping to be there by the end of September - particularly as I'm away on hols in August and I need a real incentive to remain on track while there!

Feeling Posh

Reading that last post, I must confess that my superficial damage sort of set me back for a few weeks there...although I kidded myself a touch that I was letting my weight "stabilise"!

College has finished now until October, so really I have no excuse not to exercise...I have had a sneaky peek on the scales since my last weigh in (178 lbs) and it is looking like I just might get my 30% and 75lb goal on Monday if my weight registers at 173lbs...but really as long as it's no more than 177lbs, I'll be happy.

Despite not losing pounds, I can feel my body changing shape. Since my last measurements in May, I've lost an inch off my waist, an inch of my hips and 1/2 inch off of each of my thighs...so officially, they're only 3" bigger EACH than Posh Spice's waist....yes -even one thigh couldn't fit into a size zero garment...something which I can't be completely disheartened with as I'd rather be a size 16 than a size 0 anyday...but closer to a 12 would be nice :)